---
title: "Firmament Maintenance Memo (Leaked) · the sky is not real"
description: "A satirical leaked memo about scheduled sky maintenance from the fictional cabal Big Sky: aurora deployments, eclipse rollbacks, meteor showers. A parody, with the real astronomy behind every line. The sky is real."
image: "https://theskyisnotreal.com/og-image.jpg"
---

# Firmament Maintenance Memo (Leaked)

A memo we "obtained" from **Big Sky** operations: scheduled downtime, aurora deployments, eclipse rollbacks, and a nervous note about all the people running the detector. Marked Do Not Forward, so naturally we are forwarding it. The memo is invented, start to finish; the "Reality check" lines below each entry are not.

**To**

Firmament Operations, Backdrop Reliability, Weather Content ██████████

**From**

Big Sky, Office of Continuous Illusion (████████, VP of Overhead)

**Re**

Q3 scheduled firmament maintenance and known issues

**Scheduled downtime**

Nightly dimming pass rolls out at local dusk as usual; please stop filing it as an outage. Aurora deployments are pinned to the northern and southern edges and may light up without notice after solar activity. *Reality check:* "night" is just your side of a spinning planet turning away from the sun, and auroras are real, caused by charged particles from the sun hitting gases in the upper atmosphere. Nothing is deployed.

**Planned events**

One eclipse rollback is on the calendar (see Exhibit A, [GLITCH-088](https://theskyisnotreal.com/evidence/glitches)); expect brief darkness along a narrow corridor. A meteor shower is queued as an intentional particle effect. *Reality check:* eclipses are predictable orbital geometry, and meteor showers happen when Earth passes through the dust trail of a comet. Both are on nobody's release schedule but physics'.

> Reminder: the backdrop is not "glitching." The backdrop is working exactly as the universe intended.

**Known issues**

Detector traffic on [theskyisnotreal.com](https://theskyisnotreal.com/#scan) is spiking again; the humans keep "scanning the sky" and posting the results. Recommend we do nothing, because there is nothing to hide and we are not real. *Reality check:* the scan is a bit of playful JavaScript that always says FAKE. It measures your sense of humor, not the atmosphere.

**Redactions**

The following were withheld from this memo for operational reasons: ████████ (the color blue), ██████ (why sunsets are red), and █████████ (the fact that all of this is a joke).

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